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Archive for the ‘Church Quirks’ Category

Church Quirks

May 28, 2013

House Hunters – Church Edition

Just enough room for a cupholder.

Just enough room for a cupholder.

     UPDATE (01/20/14): I just have to say people suck! I spoke with an insider at church recently and asked if she could plant the idea of cup holders to the reno committee. She laughed and said that they recently took a trip to a church that had cup holders and that church emphatically wished they’d never installed them. Why, you ask? “You wouldn’t believe what people leave in them” was the response. I’m going to let my imagination run with that. Even as adults we have to deal with a few jerks ruining it for the rest of us. In the meantime, bring your coffee to church, but in a non-spilling sippee cup. 

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If you’ve watched any episode of House Hunters, domestic or international, you know that those looking for their dream home have a list of must-haves. Sometimes, during church, I hate to admit that I drift from the sermon(truly nothing personal Pastor) and think of things I would look for in my dream church. I’m probably being as unrealistic as some of the families on House Hunters, but I’m willing to compromise.

     1 – Cup holders

As I’ve mentioned previously, many churches of the Christian variety are including coffee shops in their renovations, so why not have cup holders on the back of the pews for the coffee?

     2 – Pen/crayon/water bottle stopper

 The worship center at the church I attend has an incline. The higher pews are in the back and the floor gradually declines to the front of the church. Imagine, if you will, dropping a pen, crayon, or you knock over your water bottle that was on the floor because there were no cup holders (see #1). Guess what happens? Yep, it rolls, and rolls, and rolls. If it gets stopped by someone else’s foot or purse, great. But if it hits someone else’s water bottle, well, then it’s a free-for-all. So all I would add is a little strip of wood on the floor under each pew. Embarrassment averted.

     3 – Golden Circle Seating

I’m going to share a secret. Christians aren’t always as gracious as you’d expect. You can find this out if you sit in someone’s pew who has been sitting in said pew every Sunday for 10 plus years. Yes, they should be more flexible. Yes, they should just be happy you’re in church. Yes, they should realize that God can find them even if they’re not in the same seat. He’s a clever guy. So to avoid any conflict, I think churches could offer those members who are less inclined to adjust, Golden Circle Seating. For a donation to the church, you can have your reserved seat. Perhaps even with a plaque. 

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Shannon is the stay-at-home Mama of one. But don’t ask her what she does all day. Between volunteering in the PTA, coaching volleyball, gardening, carpooling, writing (cheap therapy), publishing a book, and the business of everyday life, she has one foot in and the other out of the Mamasylum. She loves visitors, so get a day pass and visit her at www.mamasylum.com or www.facebook.com/mamasylum. You can also email her at shannon@mamasylum.com.

Church Quirks

April 15, 2013

Coffee Mecca

     There is an ongoing struggle in the Christian community to stay relevant. No church, Christian or not, wants to be considered irrelevant in the world today. Admittedly, it’s a fine line to walk the Christian walk and not be mocked by the world, all the while trying to attract people to join. Many people who haven’t been to church in a while are probably afraid. They possibly remember, as I do, the old-style church with the pastor screaming from the pulpit, turning red in the face, telling me I was going to hell. Or showing up one Sunday, filling out a visitors form, then receiving a surprise visit from a few church members on Monday, wondering how to get you to come back. So churches now have to find a way to attract people that makes them comfortable and the church approachable.

HalleBrewjah!

HalleBrewjah!

Enter the church coffee shops. While I’ve only seen this phenomenon in Baptist or non-denominational churches, you’ll have to let me know if there are Catholic, Jewish, Mormon, Hindu or Muslim places of worship that are including cafes, ice cream shops, bakeries, etc.

     I happen to love the idea. I was genuinely thrilled when our church recently announced it was revamping our courtyard. I sat on the edge of my pew waiting to hear if they were adding a coffee shop. Yes! It’s included in the plans. Now naming a church cafe is how puns were intended to be used. Here are a few of my favorite names I’ve either visited or heard about from other churches: HeBrews, Higher Grounds, SonBucks, Your Daily Brew, Divine Grind, Holy Mocha, and WJWD (What Jesus Would Drink).

I’d love to hear about your favorite coffee house in a place of worship!

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Shannon is the stay-at-home Mama of one. But don’t ask her what she does all day. Between volunteering in the PTA, coaching volleyball, gardening, carpooling, writing (cheap therapy), publishing a book, and the business of everyday life, she has one foot in and the other out of the Mamasylum. She loves visitors, so get a day pass and visit her at www.mamasylum.com or www.facebook.com/mamasylum. You can also email her at shannon@mamasylum.com.